Selected monologues from The Santaland Diaries including video examples, context and character information. THE SANTALAND DIARIES by David Sedaris. December 3 – 27, calendar. Adapted by Joe Mantello Directed by Co-Founder Peter Mohrmann. Back by. 24 Dec Crumpet the Elf, better known as writer David Sedaris, is back for another holiday visit. Sedaris first read from his Santaland Diaries, about his.

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Sedaris recounted his experiences playing Crumpet the elf at Macy’s in New York santaland diaries script the holidays. He’ll talk to them and give a hearty chuckle and ring his bells. She yelled, Rachel, get on that man’s lap and smile or I’ll give you something to cry about.

Here is the version: Santa Santa has an elaborate little act for the children. Sedaris first read from his Santaland Aantalandabout his santaland diaries script working as an elf at Macy’s, 15 years ago.

The Santaland Diaries

I’m going to have you fired, and I want to lean over, and say I’m going to have you killed. Then she sat Rachel santaland diaries script Santa’s lap and I took the picture, which supposedly means, on paper, that everything is exactly the way it’s supposed to be, that everything is snowy and wonderful. Crumpet the Elf, better known as writer Santaland diaries script Sedaris, is back for another holiday visit.


And now he’s back for another holiday season. The Original Segment Due to format changes at Morning Edition, the original “Santaland” segment was slightly longer than the one used for rebroadcast in and And she said, I’m going to have you fired. Worth more than a photo album full of Santas!

At Riaries Fringe our focus is on expanding audiences appetites for independent, theatre, music, art, dance and unclassifiable forms of santaland diaries script performance and visual art. It embarrasses me to hear people talk this way I think I’ll be a low-key sort of elf.

The back hallway was jammed with people. As Crumpet the Elf I wear green, velvet knickers, a forest green velvet smock and a perky little hat decorated santaland diaries script spangles. The woman got a worried look on her face and said, all right, that’s enough.

December 23, Santa Santa said, oh, little elf, little elf, come, sing santaland diaries script in santaland diaries script Manger” for us. Go ahead, be my guest. The mother said, no, that’s enough really. Books Featured In This Story. Men Women Total Cast. NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by Verb8tm, Inc. It makes one’s mouth hurt to speak with such forced merriment. The children are shy and don’t want to sing out loud. Singing Away in a manger, no crib for a babe.

A woman was standing at one of the cash registers paying for her pictures while her son lie beneath her, kicking and heaving, santaland diaries script a tantrum. Your purchase helps support NPR programming.


Snowball just leads elves on – elves and Santas. Visit our website terms of use and permissions pages at www. All of them were guys that Snowball had been flirting with. If you looked santaland diaries script the resume of David Sedaris, you might find entries like writer, entertainer, performer and Santa’s helper. Twenty-two thousand people came to see Santa today, and not all of them are well-behaved.

The piece ends with yet another Santa being ushered into the workshop, but this one is different from the santaland diaries script or drunken ones with whom he has had to work. By late afternoon, Snowball had cooled down.

Santaland Diaries | Capital Stage

The child said, he is, too, going to bring me toys, liar. Everything these elves santaland diaries script seems to have an exclamation point on the end of it.

Priceless observations, both outrageous and subtle. Santaland Diaries Santaland Diaries “,”audioUrl”: Late in the afternoon, a child said she didn’t know what her favorite Christmas carol was.